In July 2023, I made a decision to face some of my deepest fears and layers of past trauma that would change the direction of my life.

This post if for those of you that may be experiencing or have experienced PTSD in the past.

I had booked a Network Spinal Chiropractic training (the technique I use now) in Spartanburg, SC for July 22nd. I needed to attend this training IF I was going to practice chiropractic again because this is the only form of chiropractic that feels aligned to me.

I had a flight booked for Friday July 21. As the date approached, I started to experience severe anxiety and panic. This stems from childhood sexual abuse (not a fear of flying). The feeling that can get triggered on a plane is similar to what I felt as a child…trapped and out of control.

Even though I had done significant amounts of healing around the sexual abuse, there were more layers coming up.

It was so overwhelming that I felt like there’s no way I could get on that flight. So, I canceled it.

I knew I had to somehow make it to this training, so on Thursday July 20th 2023 at 3pm, I left Newburyport to start driving to Spartanburg. I actually had no idea if I’d be able to make it.

In the past, driving had also been a huge trigger. I have gone months, and at times a year or more without driving on the highway. I used to feel a lot of shame about this. Now, I understand that it my body’s way of trying to keep me safe because the trauma from the abuse was still alive enough in my system that it felt like it was happening again every time I got on the highway.

The traffic was so bad that I only made it to outside of NYC the first day after 7 hrs of driving.

When I got up Friday July 21, I knew I had to make it close enough that day to be able to make it there for 9am July 22.

When I left Friday, I still wasn’t 100% sure I’d be able to make it. I just kept breathing and being present in the moment. Every time a strong sensation came up, I started to soften my body instead of harden it. Slowly but surely the anxiety moved through me and left.

I drove for 12 hrs that day, and made it to just outside of Charlotte, NC, about 2 hrs from where the training was the next day.

The next morning, I made it to the training in Spartanburg with 30 minutes to spare.

In total, it took my about 20 hours to get there. The training was 8 hrs long, and I turned around and drove back the next day.

Here’s what I learned from my trip…

I took the biggest risk by believing in myself even though I was terrified

I learned new ways to soften my body even while experiencing intense sensations

my belief in myself and life skyrocketed

I healed layers of trauma that I could never have by talking about it

Within 30 days of returning back home, I had renewed my license and opened my practice the end of August 2023.

I have had the honor of helping dozens and dozens and dozens of people over this past year.

I have grown in ways I could’ve never imagined.

I am doing what I was put on this planet to do.

I am fully supporting myself and the life I want to lead.

And…I’m just getting started!!!!

I share all of this to be REAL! Healing is really freaking hard sometimes, but my god is it worth it!

Go all in! Bet on yourself! Get the support you need!

I continue to heal and face things every single day and I won’t have it any other way.

P.S. I did get on a flight in January 2024 and have had no problems with flying since.