I was driving to a networking event last week that was about 40 minutes away from my house and I was reminded of a very dark time in my life.A time that I never imagined I would be sharing because it was so tough, and I was very embarrassed about it.
Three and a half years ago, I was still in the midst of doing some deep, intense inner healing work related to recovering memories of childhood sexual abuse.
At the time, the biggest trigger for me was driving on a highway. Now this may sound crazy to some of you, but for a period of time I couldn’t drive on the highway without having a massive panic attack that felt like it was so overpowering I would rather never drive on the highway again!
You see, on a deeper level the highway was triggering me because my subconscious was perceiving that every time I got onto the highway, I was trapped, just like I felt in my childhood. I couldn’t get on or off when I wanted. I was SO embarrassed about this for a long time. I mean how can a 30 something year old woman not be able to drive on the highway??? That was my ego talking, by the way.
It didn’t make any “logical” sense. Just like when you may feel frozen from taking action in your business. Whether it’s picking up the phone to follow up with potential clients, booking talks, writing your talks, or showing up at networking events and promoting your business.
None of it makes logical sense! It’s like WHY can’t I just pick up the freakin’ phone! And the more you try to make it make sense, the worse things get.
So back to my story…3 1/2 years ago I had the opportunity to do some deep inner healing work with a healer that was a 40 minute drive from my house. Intuitively, I knew that this was a great opportunity for me and a part of me REALLY wanted to work with this healer. BUT, it was a 40 minute drive on the HIGHWAY!
And like I mentioned…the highway was a HUGE trigger for me.
I went back and forth in my mind. I would rationalize why I couldn’t sign up to do work with this healer…it was too far away…it was too much money…blah blah blah. But then I would connect with my truth again and I just knew this would REALLY help me move forward. SO…after talking it over with my husband, we decided that HE would drive me for the time being (and we had to take the kids too), with the intention that I would be able to drive myself by the end of the series of sessions. It was a series of 10 sessions.
Now, I really had to put my ego aside during this time. I was NOT used to being so vulnerable or relying on others to do things. I was the person that worked until I was 42 weeks pregnant BOTH pregnancies…and I was damn proud of that back then. I was the person that thought I could do ANYTHING by myself, and here I was asking my husband to drive me 40 minutes for a healing session. Sigh. I was ashamed and embarrassed BUT, I knew that I needed to do this.
So I started my sessions, and boy were they INTENSE! I really connected with emotions that had been stuffed down for almost 30 years! I screamed, I sobbed, I kicked, I forgave.
And each session I grew stronger and stronger.
I will never forget the night before my 5th session. I knew I was ready to make the drive myself. I didn’t say anything to my husband until that morning. I told him “I’m ready”. And I did it! I didn’t have 1 panic attack, not even a hint of panic. It was a turning point for me and my healing, and I never looked back. From that point on, my paralyzing fear of driving on the highway never had power over me again because I had HEALED the trauma causing it!
The reason I’m sharing this with you is because when I decided to sign up for the healing sessions with the intention of overcoming my fear of driving on the highway and healing WHY I had this fear in the first place, I looked my fear HEAD ON. It was NOT convenient. It was NOT comfortable. It was a financial investment. I looked deep within myself. I felt emotions that I was scared to death to feel. It took an EXTRAORDINARY amount of effort to breakthrough that fear. It was humbling. It was messy. It was VERY uncomfortable. But…boy was it WORTH IT!
So, I want you to ask yourself right now, if you are not happy with how things are going in your business or life…what are you willing to do to make it better?
There is NO magic wand to wave that will change things. NO one is going to “save” you. YOU get to make the decision to change or not.
I will guarantee you that you will need to do things that scare the shit out of you, you will get pushed to your edge, you will want to quit. It is NOT for the faint of heart. But…it IS possible! And not only is it possible, but the changes that will happen in your life and business will BLOW YOUR MIND!
Or you could just stay where you are, and that’s fine too. It’s up to you.
But, IF you are ready to change it’s NOT enough to just make the decision in your mind. You need to back it up with ACTION… massive action. Action that is aligned with what you say you want.
If you are ready to move forward and let go of the past that is holding you back, and want to take action NOW, I want to invite you into a Complimentary 30 minute Breakthrough session with me.
During this session you’ll learn:
- what patterns of self sabotage are holding you back
- if you were to make changes, what is possible in your life and business
- how to do it NOW
Please, only apply if you are serious about moving forward and genuinely interested in exploring the possibility of working together to release your past so you can move forward in your business. If we are a good fit, I will share how I can support.
With Courage,
Colleen
