I have started a daily gratitude practice where I deeply feel one thing I am grateful for that day.
I’ve been using a mediation that I channeled in my monthly channeled messages and meditations group.
I go into the meditation being completely open to what wants to come up within me to be grateful for.
This morning, what came up, was my breakdown/spiritual awakening that started in April 2010. I thought about the woman I was before that time…constantly having to control everything in my life, massively stressed out, constantly people pleasing, putting herself last all the time, never wanting to let people see the real her, and thinking she had to do it ALL ALONE.
Tears of gratitude ran down my cheeks for her, for all the panic attacks, debilitating anxiety, days I couldn’t leave my home, days I couldn’t drive a car, and the days when I wanted to end it all because it felt too hard.
I wouldn’t be who I am today without all of those experiences!
I think about the deeply supportive connected friendships I now have in my life.
I think about how I’ve learned to let go of control and allow myself to surrender to the magic of life.
I think about the relationships I now have with my kids, and the mom I am now. The love that I can give and receive.
When you can bless the past, be grateful for it, and allow it to SOFTEN you (not harden you)… YOU ARE FREE!
The only way to do that, in my experience, is to face the things that scare you the most, look deep within YOURSELF, and change the stories you created about yourself, life, and who you need to be to be loved.
With Courage,
Colleen
