I received my first “hate mail” last week and it reminded of a topic that I have seen pop up in several of my coaching conversations with clients last week. In the past, I would have gotten very offended and concerned that I was saying something that someone didn’t approve of. I would have worried about it and agonized over it. It would have sent me in a tailspin for days!
But, I now see the truth.
When you really start putting yourself out there in a bigger, bolder way and are speaking your truth and standing up for what YOU believe in, there will always be someone that disagrees! Not everyone is going to like or agree with what you say or do, and there is NOTHING wrong with that!
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t go out of my way to piss people off! But, I am no longer attached to people needing to accept and approve of what I say or believe in. The hate mail I received was regarding a blog post I had written talking about taking responsibility for your own feelings. This person obviously strongly disagreed with me and didn’t want to think she had that power, which is fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion!
When you raise your rates, you will have people that think you are charging way too much…
When you are speaking at the front of the room, you will have people that violently disagree with what you are saying…
When you pick up the phone to follow up with a potential client or partner, you will have people that want nothing to do with you…
You will have times when a family member or loved one completely disagrees with a decision you have made, even know you know it’s the best thing for you to do…
If you take those experiences personally, you can be dead in the water!
There are 2 important statements that I believe are the key to freedom!
1. You are NOT responsible for other people’s feelings!
2. Other people are NOT responsible for your feelings!
No one can ever make you feel a certain way without your permission. YOU are the only one responsible for how you feel!
If you don’t agree with those statements, great! My point is not to make you think the way I do, it’s to share my own experiences and what I have learned in my own personal and spiritual development with the intention of helping those that it’s meant to help.
Ask yourself how many times you say “She/he made me feel guilty” or blamed how you were feeling on someone or something outside of you (the weather, the economy, your job, your business, your family, your past)
It’s time to take back your power!
Wow Colleen! I love this one. You’re so right. Once you let go of needing to be accepted and liked by everyone, you put yourself out there more and eventually reach the people who need to hear what you have to say.
Thanks for the comment Stephanie! It is such an important lesson!!!
You are so right on with this, Colleen. It’s taken most of my entire life to finally get this message. So I’m really glad you’ve put this TRUTH out there.
Thanks Marty! The truth is all we have!
Thanks Colleen for helping us keep things in perspective. I once had a teacher who told a group of students that “the higher the teachings, the more you will see resistance and things that seem to ‘go wrong’. It’s just that the energy is allowing you to discriminate among what matters and what doesn’t, so that you can choose. It will become very clear in those moments.”
That is so true Nancy! Thanks for commenting!
Great post Colleen! I know I need to be reminded of this truth. I loved the statement…We are not responsible for other peoples feelings, as well as other people are not responsible for our feelings.
Thank you for sharing.
Thanks for responding Jody! It is such a powerful truth we all need to continually remind ourselves of!